Riqz’s Avatar Review
Riqz’s Avatar Rant Review
Spoiler ahoy:
Jake Sully, a crippled marine gets a new job on the planet Pandora. His brother got killed by nobody knows who, because he got robbed. Jake is the only one with the same genes as his brother (because they were twins) so that’s why he got this job. This new job involves getting into a machine and possessing this empty meatbag clone of one of the Navi’s (An alien spieces indigenous to Pandora but they know fuck all about the Navi’s but they can make exact clones of them).
The humans are on Pandora (the Navi planet that uses trees for internet) because they need to mine some kind of shitty mineral mentioned ONCE in the whole film and nobody knows why the fuck they’re mining it. There’s some kind of special force involved to protect the company mining from the angry Navi. They look like U.S. Marines but are really mercenaries with no emotions left in them except for XENOPHOBIA.
Jake Sully is skeptical about this whole avatar project but once he realizes he can walk again (he was crippled in action remember?), he starts liking it.
He goes on an expedition with 2 other meaningless actors/characters/avatars who we can forget about now because they mean nothing at all, in the middle of the forest.
Jake is a bit curious (of course! He’s got legs now!), so he wanders off and gets attacked by an alien CGI monster. He gets separated from the group and ends up nearly dying until a Navi girl (which he falls in love with pretty much as soon as we see her) saves him.
At a certain point some pollen gets stuck all over Jake and Navi girl is amazed and he goes to their main treehouse. He is given a chance by the “mother superior” (again you can forget about her now as she is meaningless) to learn the “navi way”.
He gets a mount, he shoots an arrow, he rides a donkey (all this by sticking his IEEE 1394 port hair into any animal he can see), the navi girl falls in love with him.
Jake doesn’t want to live in the human world anymore and when he comes out they tell him they want to mine underneath the Navi treehouse because there’s a HUUUUUGE amount of that shitty ore they’re mining. AND THERE’S NO OTHER PLACE but there. THEY WANT TO DESTROY THAT TREEHOUSE like as if it was Bin Laden’s hideout.
Jake tries to tell the Navi but they don’t believe him and tie him up to a cross.
This is when the humans go fucking insane. Maybe they all took some crack cocaine together and they all want to fucking RAPE NAVI FACES. The angry colonel doesn’t give a shit about Navi’s and wishes they were exterminated Hitler style. Nobody knows why he is so angry or why so racist or why he’s so “I don’t give a shit about anything”. He just is.
The humans throw about 2million% more bombs than were needed against the treehouse and a lot of Navis die.
Jake cries.
Jake manages to jump (WITH THE GREATEST OF EASE) onto the biggest pterodactyl on Pandora (the most mean beast that ever lived and that only 3 men have ever ridden him, the rest got eaten by him) and becomes THE ONE.
Jake gathers like 50 different Navi tribes (apparently Pandora is huge with soooo many Navis which begs the question…Shit maybe they have other treehouses or there may be other mining sites or what the fuck is this film going on about).
The humans are heading towards another bigger sacred tree (the Navi Internet Service Provider where navis stick their hair ports into to listen to voices of dead Navis) with a “bomb” (a box full of really small c4 charges rigged together to explode on impact….DIDNT THEY HAVE A FUCKING BOMB???NO! They had to stick 400 small c4 charges together and make a poor man’s bomb). They have to push the box out of the plane… how ridiculous.
Jake (the new appointed navi leader of PANDORA, although he is human and Navis HATE humans) fights with his new army of troglodites against year 2513 technology with spears and arrows and IEEE1394 ports (by the way the huge fucking spears, cos navi’s are 10feet tall, have poison on them. Because being a huge fucking arrow wasn’t enough).
So yeah they fight airplanes and helicopters (that have machine gunners and missiles) with spears and flying donkeys and donkeys. And after a few minutes of dieing, they somehow manage to win and the huge c4 collage doesn’t get dropped on the tree.
Jake fights the evil colonel or general or Hitler (who is on a mech…WOLFENSTEIN anyone?) and nearly loses because he nearly gets ripped out of his “avatar box” (where he connects to his navi avatar) and is nearly dying to Pandora’s toxic air. He is saved by his Navi bitch at the last second.
Jake is turned into a navi at the ISP tree.
END OF THE MOVIE
I felt pain just remembering the film.
A quote i liked from Encyclopaedia Dramatica:
“A nagging thought throughout the film when it comes to Jake, is that how come human technology can be so advanced as to have accomplished interstellar flight and generate giant fighting ‘Mechs, but no one seems to have given a shit about upgrading the basic design of wheelchairs?”
Come scaricare con Usenet
Scrivo questo “tutorial” su Usenet perchè sinceramente molti mi chiedono dove trovo tutti i film, videogiochi, musica eccetera in cosi poco tempo.
Bene… ora sono pronto a svelarvi questo segreto…Il “segreto” di come Riqz scarica da internet.
Voi direte: “beh si usa il mulo no?” oppure “ma si sarà uno di quelli che scarica da rapidshare che pacco”. Invece no. Qui si parla di usenet.
Cos’è Usenet? Beh agli albori di internet esistavano dei newsgroup. In questi newsgroup si parlava di tutto, praticamente gli antecessori dei forum di oggi. Ci si “abbonava” ad un news service provider (NSP d’ora in poi) che ti metteva a disposizione i loro server per poter leggere e anche scrivere su vari newsgroups che variavano da musica, film, fino a cose più specifiche come fotografia, medicina, e qualunque hobby immaginabile.
Arriviamo al punto… Questi NSP dopo un pò di anni hanno anche dato la possibilità di aggiungere file ai propri post. Immagini file di testo ecc. Questo si è poi evoluto in veri e propri newsgroup Binary, cioè newsgroup dove si potevano trovare file di vario tipo.
Questa evoluzione ci porta al giorno d’oggi dove si utilizza Usenet per scaricare qualunque cosa ci serva.
Premetto subito che non è un servizio gratis come i Torrent (anche se esistono private trackers a pagamento) o come emule. Quale vantaggio ha allora vi chiedete voi?
Beh il primo e più importante vantaggio è che pagate un servizio e quindi scaricherete alla velocità massima che avete a disposizione. Per esempio se avete una linea 3Mbit scaricherete a circa 393 kb/secondo. Se invece avete una linea da 13Mbit come me scaricherete a 1,7Mb/secondo (si avete capito bene, uno virgola sette MEGABYTE al secondo).
Questo ormai mi ha anche un pò viziato siccome i film non li guardo neanche più in standard definition (di solito 700mb di dimensioni) ma solamente in HD (variano dai 4-6Giga per un file 720p e fino a 15Giga per un 1080 p).
Come si fa mi chiederete?
Beh ora ve lo spiego:
1) Vi serve un abbonamento ad un NSP. Io vi consiglio vivamente UsenetServer che vi da anche 14 giorni di trial. Costa 10 dollari al mese (una scemenza e QUI potete trovare il link all’offerta). Se invece volete fare un periodo di prova in Gigabyte allora c’è Newshosting che per qualunque piano scelto vi offre un trial fino a 30GB di download. Altro NSP valido è Easynews che offre sempre un trial di 14 giorni e/o 10GB di download. Uno recente invece che costa €4.43 al mese(prezzo incredibile) è XLNED (per 10mbit al secondo). Una volta iscritti, vi verrà mandata una mail con username e password da voi scelti. Scriveteveli su un foglio di carta che poi vi serviranno. Vi daranno anche un’indirizzo del server che per UsenetServer sarà “secure.usenetserver.com” (cryptato SSL per più sicurezza).
2) Ora vi serve un programma per poter scaricare i file estrapolati dai file .nzb (pensateli come file .torrent). Io consiglio vivamente Alt.Binz e userò questo programma in questo tutorial. Scaricatelo ed installatelo. Scaricate anche Winrar se non lo avete già (serve per scompattare file zippati) e anche QuickPar (questo serve per riparare i file .rar se vengono scaricati male). Installate il tutto. Una volta finito proseguite al punto 3.
3)Aprite il programma Alt.Binz e cliccate su Setup. Su “Download” scegliere dove volete salvare i file scaricati.
Su NZB togliete il flag da tutte le opzioni “Import as Paused”.
Sull’opzione Servers sotto “Name” scrivete il nome che volete dare al Server (io metto UsenetServer SSL). Nell’ “Address” mettete secure.usenetserver.com. Flaggate “Server requires authentication” e scrivete il vostro username e password che vi siete scritti sul foglietto. Mettete “number of Connections” 20 e “Port” 563 e a questo punto cliccati su add as primary.
4) Ora che avete aggiunto il vostro server proseguiamo ad aggiornare delle opzioni. Su “Par2” delle opzioni flaggate tutto a parte “recheck all PAR2 sets on start”.
Su “Unrar” flaggate AutoUnrar e Delete archives after successful unraring. Su Miscellaneous flaggate sotto “Start” Autopush Connect Button.
5) Il programma è ora pronto per scaricare. Chiudete pure il programma. Ora bisogna trovare qualcosa da scaricare. Vi consiglio un “Search Engine” grezzo che si chiama Binsearch. Su binsearch si può cercare qualsiasi cosa esista su Usenet (quasi tutta ma non entro nel dettaglio ora). Solamente che non sarà ben organizzata come ci aveva insegnato NZBMatrix. Qui su Binsearch gli .NZB dobbiamo crearceli da soli scegliendo tutti i file che ne fanno parte. NzbIndex invece cerca di organizzare un pò meglio quanto si trova su Binsearch.Facciamo che voglio scaricare un episodio di How I met Your Mother. Eccolo qui. Clicchiamo sull’episodio che ci interessa e mettiamo un baffo sulla casella a fianco del file. Cliccate il bottone “download” e poi . Questo vi scaricherà il file .NZB che aprirà automaticamente Alt.Binz che comincerà a scaricare il file. Purtroppo su binsearch cercando il nome della serie tv o film raramente si trova il file completo. Questo perchè gli NSP cancellano dai loro server i file. Per evitare che i file vengano rimossi gli uploader non mettono più i nomi del film o delle serie tv nel nome del file uploadato. Qui entrano in gioco i nuovi siti di NZBIndexing tra cui il mio preferito NZBGRABIT che verrà descritto sotto, dove gli utenti caricano l’NZB con il nome del file “criptato” dicendo a tutti i membri di cosa si tratta (per esempio il file 111123131.rar potrebbe in realtà essere How I met your mother S03E01).
Purtroppo (o anche no), visto che nessuno in italia usa Usenet non ci sono molti film in italiano, ma vi consiglio comunque di vedervi i film in lingua originale, al massimo scaricate i sottotitoli. Ci sono anche serie TV a gogo (1 ora max dopo l’uscita in america), videogiochi ecc ecc.
Spero che questa guida sia da aiuto ai nuovi arrivati nel mondo di usenet e so che una volta provata non tornerete più sui torrent o su emule.
Se volete delle precisazione su come fare a connettersi, retention, problemi, troubleshoot ecc non esitate a postare un commento e risponderò appena possibile.
Inoltre vi ricordo che scaricare materiale da internet che non è già in vostro possesso è illegale.
La diffusione di materiale coperto da diritto d’autore su qualsivoglia sistema di filesharing è vietata. L’utente che utilizza i programmi e le tecniche descritte in questo articolo è tenuto a verificare la libera e legale distribuzione (espressamente autorizzata o materiale di pubblico dominio) dei files che intende scaricare.
Saluti!!
Se questa guida vi è stata d’aiuto e volete vederne ancora di questo genere potete darmi una piccola mano donando al sito per mantenerlo aggiornato. Mi fareste un grandissimo piacere. Cliccate sul bottone sottostante per donare qualunque cifra con paypal e grazie!

Questa guida è proprieta e copyright di Riqz. Chiedete il permesso prima di postarla da un’altra parte.
o/
My Top 5 Iphone Games
Why just 5 you ask? Well it’s because there really aren’t that many games that will keep you entertained for more than a few minutes except just a few of them… I can assure you that the money you spend with these games i’m about to list, is really well spent. So enough with the banter…here they are:
NUMBER 5
RAGDOLL BLASTER

Ragdoll Blaster is THE game with the best ingame physics engine you can find on the iphone. It involves shooting “ragdolls” from a cannon so that they eventually end up on the red bullseye. It’s not as easy as it sounds! The game has a lot of levels and some become frustratingly difficult. It will keep you entertained for a long time. This game is my number 5 pick because once you’ve finished all the levels there isn’t much replay value.
NUMBER 4
PAPER TOSS

Paper toss is just that. You have to toss your scrunched up pieces of paper into your bin. It is a very simple concept but it will become very addictive. A fan is also added to make a “wind” effect so you have to adjust your throws accordingly. This gets very insane at higher levels where the rubbish bin is very far away!
NUMBER 3
FLIGHT CONTROL

Flight control is a graphically and gamplay-wise gratifying game. You practically have to trace a line from the airplanes/helicopters to the landing strip to make them land. It gets harder as you progress because you can’t make them crash as more and more planes get sent into your tiny iphone screen. It’s a challenge and it has definetly earned third place in my list. There are many different landing strips to vary the scenery.
Here we come to the top 2 games!
NUMBER 2
CANABALT

Canabalt probably has some of the best music in any game on the iphone. Not only that but it is all in all, a very well designed game. There’s only one thing you have to do in this game: click the screen to jump. If you click it lightly your running man will make a small jump. If you hold your “click” he will jump higher. The longer you go without stumbling on crates the faster you go. The faster you go the further you’ll jump. The aim of the game is to beat your friends or the global ladder and get the furthest distance you can.
NUMBER 1
DOODLE JUMP

This little game may look like shit on screenshots but believe you me… Even my girlfriend is hooked on this game. It is so simple it’s pretty unbelievable how it can be such a great game. Doodle jump uses the in-built iphone motion sensor to move your doodlemonster left and right. What you have to do is keep him jumping on steady ground/or slabs whatever they are. There are powerups like springs, springboots, tramplines and sometimes enemies appear and you have to shoot them down!
The aim of the game is to get up as high as you can, again to beat your friends on facebook or the global ladder. This is by far the most addictive iphone game there is and if you want to beat my current record of 56000 meters add me on facebook 😀
Hope you enjoyed my top iphone games. If you did be sure to leave a comment
o/
Bladida
Well i’ve been ill for the past 5 days. Which means gold in blogtown.
I actually did a lot of things… well not motionwise though.
I watched 2012… which was entertaining at best. No story no interest no nothing except for gorgeous special effects. Worth a watch anyway.
I also watched Up. This movie on the other hand was very good. It was worth watching just to see the most adorable dog in the history of Disney/Pixar (bit of a spoiler: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ui9Mm63zpfE).
Another highlight of my “ill-week” is that I have managed to update my Wii softmod. I hadn’t touched my wii for about a year, but now I can play my downloaded wii games off of my hard drive which is great as I don’t have to write images to dvd’s to play.
Here’s where Bludge is going to be happy. There’s a lot of “watch catching-up” to do.
First of all, my father brought me his old watches. Those old watches that he kept tucked away in a drawer for god knows how long. Most of them did not interest me except one.
It had Datzward written on it, water resistant 20Atmospheres and it looked like a chronograph. I asked him where he’d got it and he told me a parent of his was a watch repairer back in the day and that he bought it off him. My father wore this watch throughout his 20’s. It is the most valuable (both sentimentally and money-wise) watch I possess and once it returns from repairs (thorough clean and new front glass) it’ll probably become my daily watch! Just check out the pictures below and i’m sure you’ll agree to how beautiful it is. Datzward was one of the many makes at the time. They used to buy good movements and sell cheaper watches. The movements were great but they weren’t prestigious names, hence the lower price tag.
It has a Tachimetric scale (to measure speed in km/h), a Production scale (to measure production speed), and a Telemetric scale (to calculate distance of an object by measuring the time it takes between visual and auditory contact). The movement is a Valjoux 92, an excellent movement mounted also by TAG Heuer in the 70’s.
The numbers are written in Trizium (a slightly radioactive substance used to see the numbers at night).
I actually also found an old photograph my mother took of my father (one of their first dates) when he was actually wearing the watch. He scarily looks a lot like me…
Another little “antique” find was an AGAT chronometer, made in USSR. 15 jewels, runs like a train. Not much else to say. Don’t ask me when or where i’ll use it.
I also faced two little problems. I’m 99% certain that the Perseo I spoke about and bought in the last post is a shameless fake. Unfortunately I trusted the seller, when i should not have.
I guess that’s more than enough for now. Enjoy the pictures!
- Datzward
- Datzward back
- Datzward Valjoux 92
- Datzward Valjoux 92 balance wheel detail
- My father with the Datzward in the 70s (nice hairstyle dad)
- Agat front
- Agat Movement
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